[PhD program update: Defense is in 7 days.]
Yesterday I enjoyed a visit with a dear friend who lives and works in Singapore. It’s a big deal when she comes to town! AJ takes care of me: helps me pick clothes of the right color, delicately encourages an immediate trip through the car wash, coaches me through the emotion I feel when smacked with poverty on a Muni train, sees through my chatter to the real issues.
What was it you said, AJ? Something like “What’s your relationship going to be like, now that you’re getting rid of the third person in the room?”
AACK! I haven’t thought about it like that. What is LIFE going to be like, now that I CAN’T HIDE because I have “so much work”?!?!
When I woke up in the middle of the night last night, as I do, I googled “phd program recovery” and found sites dedicated mostly to finding a job. I have a job, and it’s not that.
What is it, instead?
Gulp. I’ve got an opportunity to get to know myself again, get to know Eric again, my family, friends, my place in the world. For six years I’ve been hiding: made a(n excellent) choice to pursue this degree, but it’s meant serious sacrifice, especially recently.
Who am I without the elephant on my shoulders, and what does that even FEEL like?
Let’s find out, friends!